An act governing the establishment, ownership, and infrastructure of Kdrama Corporations.
Section 1. Whereas a Kdrama Corporation is an artificial entity created by kdrama writers to drive the plot and/or provide a setting for the OTP to interact.
Section 2. Application Requirements
Whereas, Kdrama Corporations, to be considered valid, must provide proof of the ability to do or have done the following:
(a) Sabotage the press conference or product launch of a rival corporation.
(b) Steal ideas, concepts, prototypes, patents, and other intellectual property of a rival corporation.
(c) Dump waste irresponsibly or utilize any production process that endangers the health of people or destroys the environment.
(d) Bribe government officials, prosecutors, inspectors, and other people capable of exposing the Corporation’s misdeeds.
(e) Demolish a housing unit/units occupied by orphans, old people, sick people, single mothers, and any other person which can be considered helpless and unable to fight back.
(f) Monopolize the industry by driving small, earnest businesses to the ground
or bullying kdrama blogs who recap the dramas they air using DMCA notices.
Section 3. Stocks and Ownership
Whereas, Kdrama Corporation must follow strict guidelines regarding ownership and stocks:
(a) It must be headed by a no-nonsense matriarch or patriarch who either (i) built the whole company from scratch or (ii) usurped a succesful company from a very close friend who then died and left behind a child or two to carry out revenge.
(b) The day-to-day operations must be run by a capable but illegitimate relative or unrelated AND under-appreciated, ticking time-bomb-of-betrayal manager.
(c) The successor must be a wastrel in accordance with the Reluctant Heir Law.
(d) 49% of the stocks must be owned by a group A within the company, the other 49% must be owned by an opposing group B within the company, and the last 2% must be owned by an eccentric third party who needs to be appeased or sucked up to right before a Stockholder’s meeting.
(e) The corporation must have at least one (1) CEO, manager, Vice President, or someone in a position of power who is too greedy, too stupid, and too evil to stop doing damning things and turn the ship around.
Section 4. Infrastructure
Whereas, Kdrama Corporations must provide a conducive environment for the exchange of ideas and communication between its employees by complying with the following:
(a) An adequate number of bathrooms for chance encounters and overhearing juicy gossip.
(b) A rooftop, stairwell, hallway, or garden for relocating right after “Let’s talk.” *wrist grab*
(c) Two or more elevators also for chance encounters, suspenseful will-they-or-won’t-they-finally-meet sequences, and “The closing elevator doors of heartbreak-edness”.
(d) A storage room, conference room, or any other closed space that can be locked from the outside so the OTP will be forced to spend an awkward night together.
Section 5. Effectivity
Whereas, the activities described in Section 2 of this act can be effective up until the final episode only. After which the kdrama writer must manipulate the story such that the evil corporations are punished and everything is right again in Drama Land.
(End of law.)
(Still) Wanted: Professor Jung Myung Hwan from What’s Up.
My sister says it’s Sung Shi Kyung from 1N2D but I said “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.” Right?